


Patch It Up Together

by sarahblack-lupin (maraudersareasocialistutopia)



Series: Poppy and the Lupins [1]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: All the Young Dudes Fictional Universe, F/F, Gen, Grant Chapman Supremacy, Implied Existence of Grant Chapman, M/M, Marauders, Marauders Era (Harry Potter), Poppy is a self-insert, Poppy may or may not yell at Dumbledore, all the young dudes, well more like Poppy remembering Wolfstar, wolfstar
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-17
Updated: 2021-02-17
Packaged: 2021-03-13 02:35:03
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,551
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29519553
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/maraudersareasocialistutopia/pseuds/sarahblack-lupin
Summary: did I write a fic about Poppy Pomfrey and theme it after Chiquitita x ABBA? Yes, what about it?No, but seriously, I've always loved Poppy. I think about her a lot, I think she's a lesbian, and I wanted to explore how she might have felt seeing Remus come back to Hogwarts after so many years of him being lost to her.This fic exists in the All the Young Dudes by MsKingBean89 Fictional Universe because that is the only universe that occupied all my time and thoughts. I apologize in advance for any Americanisms or misuse of British terms, I'm working on it.JKR can suck it. If you don't agree, feel free to read something else.(For me, writing and reading fanfiction of the Harry Potter universe is an acknowledgement of my childhood, a nod to the fact that the Harry Potter fanfiction canon was my real love, and a way that we can break down the constructs written by Rowling and write our stories better, in the school and in the world that we all loved for better or for worse. I don't support JK Rowling or the harmful narratives written into the books.)
Relationships: Remus Lupin/Original Male Character(s), Rolanda Hooch/Poppy Pomfrey, Sirius Black/Remus Lupin
Series: Poppy and the Lupins [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2168619
Comments: 56
Kudos: 158





	Patch It Up Together

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [All the Young Dudes](https://archiveofourown.org/works/10057010) by [MsKingBean89](https://archiveofourown.org/users/MsKingBean89/pseuds/MsKingBean89). 



_So the walls came tumbling down_

_And your love's a blown out candle_

_All is gone and it seems too hard to handle_

Poppy Pomfrey had seen dozens of first days at Hogwarts, had long ago lost track of how many students she had seen walk through the hallowed and historic halls of the school she loved more than anything in the entire world.

She’d always viewed herself as a singularly practical person. She had to be, because even though she worked in a school, this place… It seemed to just attract tragedy. When she had first taken the job, entranced by the invite from Albus Dumbledore himself, Poppy had mistakenly thought that the landscape of her job would be Quidditch injuries and potions gone wrong. Oh, how she wished that had been the case.

And last year, bloody hell.

She still woke up in a cold sweat, Minerva’s voice still echoing through her head warning her of another petrified student. She had kept her bravest face on for the students, who deserved so much better. But after they had gone home for the summer, not even her dreams would let her forget the heartache that had transpired under Hogwarts’s roof that year. She had spent most nights just checking to make sure the students hadn’t died during the night. Maybe it wasn’t logical, but there was only so much she could do, only so practical she could be. And now, after a shit year, and a few months to recover, Poppy was in for another surprise. Remus Lupin was coming back to Hogwarts.

———————

“Have you heard?” Minerva’s voice startled Poppy out of the her reverie, tea splashing out of the teacup in her hand and onto her otherwise painstakingly clean uniform, as the usually much more contained Transfiguration professor slammed open the door to Poppy’s office.

“What’s wrong?” Poppy spluttered, half-rising out of her chair, expecting another crisis that needed attending to.

“No, no, nothing’s wrong,” Minerva said hurriedly, waving for Poppy to take a seat as she dropped into one of the cushy chairs Poppy had pulled up to the desk for students to sit in. “Well, I suppose nothing’s wrong.”

“Minerva…”

“I’m sorry, I just… I don’t know how to broach this subject with you.”

“Just get it over with already, Minerva. You’re worrying me,” Poppy said, eyebrow furrowed, setting her saucer down firmly on her desk. Minerva McGonagall was always the picture of assured, seeing her flustered usually meant something unusually dark was descending upon Hogwarts.

“Okay.. Okay. A former student of ours is coming back to Hogwarts… as a professor.”

“Oh!” Poppy said, relieved. “That’s not too much of a surprise, is it? Albus is always looking for a more permanent replacement for the Defense position, isn’t he? Lockhart was technically a former pupil of ours too, Minerva.”

Minerva hesitated, “It’s not just any student, Poppy. It’s… It’s Remus Lupin.”

—————

As has already been stated, Poppy Pomfrey has seen hundreds of students, treated almost all of them at some point during their stint at Hogwarts, seen students die, attacked, meet terrible ends. But there was something about Remus Lupin.

Maybe it’s because with Remus.. He was a constant in her carefully maintained Hospital Wing. He didn’t come and go because he was accident prone or because he was a troublemaker, though of course he did find trouble, but that wasn’t what brought him back time and time again. Poppy, almost guiltily, recalled keeping time throughout the year based on how long it had been since she had seen Remus. His full moons, over seven years at Hogwarts, had been the closest she had ever gotten to a student.

Remus had been her most special case, not just because of the lycanthropy, but because she had actually allowed herself to care, probably more than she should have. With Remus, that medical practitioner-patient relationship she prided herself on had become almost impossible. After bandaging him up for the twelfth time, after visiting him over the summers… Remus being one of the handful of students that actually got her a Christmas present… Remus was different. Poppy allowed herself that at least.

And in the years since Remus had left Hogwarts, he had become a specter of all the things that Poppy felt guilty for. How could she say she exhibited the best care for him when she couldn’t even say where he had been for the last decade? This boy that she had tried and failed to prepare for the world that would always see his condition first. He had deserved better, like so many students who had come through Hogwarts and she couldn’t save. But, again, Remus was different.

Remus had been a remarkable student, so full of mischief and fun and love even though he was having an experience at Hogwarts that literally no other person could understand. And Poppy wasn’t an idiot, no matter what those friends of his might have believed. His friends had done what Poppy had always wanted to be able to do: stay with Remus, not leave him alone to face the full moon himself. Those darling, wonderful boys. She’d take what she knew to the grave, Albus Dumbledore and the Ministry be damned. They had taken way too much from her and her students already. Poppy could handle keeping the marauders’ secrets, it’s the least she could do.

There had been moments over the last decade where Poppy could forget what had happened during the First Wizarding War. The losses they had taken could be swept away with quiet years with students, a feast here or there that had sparked true joy for her, a Hogwarts Christmas… but like many professors at Hogwarts: Poppy remembered the things they had lost and the students they had lost. Sometimes it was easier just to imagine they were simply graduated, happy, living their lives. Marlene didn’t have to be dead, she could just be out of touch with her old Madam Pomfrey from school. James didn’t have to have died the way he did, maybe he’s traveling with Lily by his side… for a decade or so.

Poppy had been pretty good at forgetting what had happened to Remus’s friends. That is until Harry Potter walked into the Great Hall for the first time.

It had been a moment for everybody, everyone craning their necks to see “The Boy Who Lived.” The professors whispering about James and Lily, where he had been for the last decade. But, unlike most people, she hadn’t immediately thought of James, but the long span of time that had passed since Remus Lupin had disappeared from their minds. If Harry was entering Hogwarts, being sorted into the house that his parents and his friends had loved so much, walking into the dormitory his father had once shared with those friends that he would have done anything for: then that meant she had truly lost track of Remus for a full decade. And she had felt unending shame about that fact since seeing Harry again.

Harry made her think of the marauders. Made her think of the way Remus’s eyes lit up when his friends walked into the Hospital Wing after a full moon. James, Sirius, and Peter pretending not to yawn, constructing their elaborate ruse so that Poppy wouldn’t suspect where they had actually been all night. In actuality, Poppy was extremely good at spotting a bruise from a mile away. But those boys, with the egos of teenage boys, hadn’t thought about that.

Over the last couple of years, Harry had, of course, made her remember James, falling asleep at Remus’s bedside in the early years, his messy hair flopping over his face, with one hand resting lightly near Remus’s arm. James running down the hallway, making Remus laugh in a way that only James could. James in his righteous anger when the more bigoted of his peers had made his friends their targets. James had loved his friends fiercely and unapologetically and Poppy, though she believed in Remus outright from the very beginning, knew that a lot of the self-worth Remus had acquired over the years was because of the steadfast support he received from James Potter. Having James Potter in your corner could be a powerful thing.

And Sirius… She was sure that she’d be stripped of her position, and maybe sent to Azkaban, if anyone found out that she had been harboring a secret about “notorious mass murderer” Sirius Black, but Poppy had her reasons for keeping the secret of Black’s animagus status quiet. She had just, quite simply, never believed what they had said about him.

Poppy didn’t entertain the idea that she actually knew what had happened that Halloween night, but the other professors? Albus? Yes, they had seen the marauders in class and maybe the Great Hall, but Poppy had been the one who watched the concern flit across Sirius Black’s face when his friends were in trouble. She had watched as Remus and Sirius clumsily realized that they were more than friends, more than roommates. She had been in the room when Sirius thought James had been seriously hurt during a Quidditch match, had watched Sirius sleep at the foot of James’s bed all night, waiting for him to wake up, had seen how close Lily and Sirius had gotten by seventh year with their shared love and commitment for James Potter. That Sirius could not be the same Sirius they were talking about after the fateful events of Halloween 1981. The Sirius she had seen grow up, had seen find solace in the Potters and in James after a truly horrific childhood, had trusted with Remus’s wellbeing after Hogwarts… That Sirius? Would never betray the Potters, it just didn’t make any sense to her.

She didn’t know what to do with the information of what happened on Halloween in 1981, but there was one thing she knew for sure: there would always be a part of her that believed in Sirius Black. She couldn’t show it, and she couldn’t tell anyone. The powers-that-be may not value the little old opinion of Poppy Pomfrey when it came to the uppity and lofty decision-making of those who controlled the outcomes of war in the Wizarding World. All Poppy could understand is that she knew the students that came through her Hospital Wing. And most importantly, she had known no students better than Remus, Sirius, Peter, and James.

———————————

Poppy was sitting at her desk again, when she heard the soft knock at her door. She froze for a minute and then let out a squeaky, “Come in!” for whoever was on the other side of her door.

She had been hiding of course. Minerva had informed her that Remus was arriving today, but she, quite shamefully, hadn’t been able to leave her office, trudge down the hall, and face him.

But the door swung open, and there he was. Remus Lupin.

He looked so drastically different. Poppy supposed she shouldn’t be surprised by that, it had been a decade. A stressful decade. A decade of hurt and life that Poppy knew nothing about.

“Hi, Madam Pomfrey.”

—————————

When Remus left, Poppy went immediately into her quarters. She supposed she probably should be checking her stores or doing something responsible since the children would be arriving in a few days, but she needed a damn drink.

Seeing Remus and speaking with him had been awkward. Once again, she found herself wondering if she was overstepping her boundaries. Instead of Remus being a student, he was now a colleague! What an odd concept. The little eleven year-old boy she had held in the Shrieking Shack as tears streamed down his face was now Professor R.J. Lupin, Defense Against the Dark Arts. And she was stupendously proud of him, of course. The whole world going against him and he had still obtained a teaching post at Hogwarts, something she had wanted for him since he was a child teaching his fellow students in the Charms classrooms after hours.

Poppy poured herself a spot of mead and slumped onto the small settee she kept in her quarters for reading after a long day, thoughts occupied with the image of how Remus had looked, hovering by her desk as they looked around the hospital wing for the first time since they were a child. A grown man among the ghosts of memories of his childhood.

He had just seemed so… sad. Bereft. It wasn’t even his shabby clothes, or the lines on his face, that hadn’t existed before this lost decade. It was his eyes, that kind of despair that only existed in the Shrieking Shack before, that slipped away when he was in the presence of his friends or in the Great Hall, seemed more permanent this time. It felt like resignation.

It wasn’t that he was dismal or anything, Pomfrey barely remembered what they had spoken about over tea, but she knew he had cracked a self-deprecating joke or two. Their conversation has been pleasant, as warm as the two of them ever were.

But that guilt.. Pomfrey couldn’t shake it. Had he been alone all this time? Why hadn’t she pushed Albus to let her find him?

She had hesitated to bring up Harry, but in the end it had been Remus had broached the subject.

“Have you… talked to Harry much? I imagine he’s in the infirmary quite a bit,” Remus had probed, a soft but sad smile gracing his face.

Poppy had smiled sadly back, “Harry is quite the frequent visitor in here, not only does he and his mates seem to attract a bit of trouble, but he’s a quidditch player after all. He reminds me quite a bit of another set of troublemakers from Gryffindor.”

Remus’s eyes had tightened a bit about that, but had reached out quite unexpectedly and patted her hand.

“He’s the best of both of them.”

Poppy poured herself a little more mead.

——————————————

Watching Remus and Harry that year was equal parts heartening and infuriating. Poppy watched him hesitate to get near Harry, even as the boy searched him out, obviously taking solace in the fact that Remus was close by, even as Sirius Black was closing in.

She was still giving him potions to help him recover from the moons, as she always had, but things were different now. Even though Remus had never used Wolfsbane before, the emergence of the potion meant that she would never have to walk Remus into that horrid shack again, which she couldn’t help being thankful for. She wasn’t sure she had that in her anymore, not after all these years. She still had to leave him alone during the moons, but at least he didn’t come to her covered in scratches or bruises. He just seemed tired and a bit sad after locking himself away in his office. She didn’t know how to broach the subject of what he had been doing during full moons in the last decade, but Poppy knew enough to be respectful of the walls Remus put up.

Another thing Poppy didn’t dare bring up around Remus was all over the papers: Sirius Black. Remus would come around for tea and they would avoid the subject at all costs. She wasn’t quite proud of it, but in those moments of avoiding the elephant in the room, Poppy learned more and more about this adult Remus that was in front of her.

“I just want you to know… I haven’t been alone this whole time.”

Poppy stilled, wondering how he knew the question that had been lying just under the surface the last few months. It was the thing that kept her up at night, the cloud of guilt that hung over her even as the practical side of her brain pointed out that she had lost track of thousands of students who had come through Hogwarts doors. But again, Remus Lupin was different.

Remus cleared his throat, nervously coughing slightly into this fist. He set the cup of tea and the saucer it was perched on down on Pomfrey’s desk and turned towards her.

“I’ve been meaning to talk to you about this. Do you… You remember how close Sirius Black..” His breath caught for a second, almost imperceptibly but Pomfrey could hear the catch in his voice. “You remember how close we were, I assume?”

“Yes, of course I do, Remus. How could.. How could I forget?” She couldn’t believe he was talking about Sirius at all. Poppy knew he must have had to discuss him recently, with Sirius being in the Prophet constantly and presenting a danger to Harry now. But this was different.

Remus took a deep, steadying breath.

“We weren’t just friends. We were more than friends.”

Poppy’s breath caught for a second.

“I know that must be surprising to you,” Remus rushed to finish. “And I’m sorry if that’s… odd for you to hear now that well… Sirius is where he is and we know what he did but…”

“Remus.” Poppy interrupted, not being able to bear this much longer. “I knew.”

“What?” Remus’s eyes flew to hers, disbelief clouding his eyes.

Poppy chuckled wryly. “You students, particularly you and your friends, thought you could hide so many things from me over the years. Think about it, Remus. How many things do your students think they’re hiding from you right this minute?”

Remus was silent for a moment, taking that in.

“To be fair, we did effectively hide a lot of things from the professors over the years,” Remus pointed out.

“Too true,” Poppy replied. “But you and I are different, aren’t we? We try to see the students, in a way that the rest of our colleagues.. Don’t necessarily care to do. It’s not a criticism, but it is definitely a difference of style, I suppose.”

Remus went silent at that, ruminating on that. He looked around the office and the hospital wing for a moment.

“I think… I think I was trying to be like you,” he mumbled, almost shyly.

Poppy didn’t know if she had heard him correctly. “What was that?”

Remus looked back up at her for a moment. “You always made me feel like I could.. Could tell you things. I didn’t always take advantage of it, but I hope my students feel the same way about me that I feel about you.”

Poppy’s eyes immediately filled up with tears at that statement. Swiping a tear away from the corner of her eye, she reached out and squeezed Remus’s hand.

“I know you’re an adult, but you are a darling for saying that, Remus. And I can say for an absolute fact, that they do feel that way, Remus. Especially Harry. James and Lily would be so happy that you’re getting to know him. Both of you deserve that.”

Remus didn’t seem to quite know what to say to that. Looking down at his feet, he changed the subject.

“The reason I brought this all up is because I wanted to tell you,” Remus laughed, “Well I guess you already know. I am gay. I never had the courage to come out before, when Sirius and I were together.”

“Did your friends know? Did Marlene know?” Poppy asked before she could help herself.

Remus jumped when he heard Marlene’s name. Another name they hadn’t spoken in the last few months. “Why do you ask that?”

“She, unlike some of you, actually did tell me when you were in school.” Poppy said sadly. “You know she spent a lot of time in here, especially after Danny… well, you know she wanted to be a healer.”

“I remember,” Remus said sadly. “She was amazing during the war. I think I would have died without her.”

Poppy closed her eyes at that, the guilt at letting her students be sucked into that war that took so many of them rising up again.

“Anyways, I just brought all this up because I.. I have a partner now.”

“You do? Who is it?”

“It’s no one you would know,” Remus said. “He’s a Muggle.”

“Oh! I suppose that makes sense, I always thought you must be living in the muggle world all this time.”

“I wanted to apologize for that too,” Remus said, smiling slightly at her. “I know I should have reached to you. A million times. Especially after the war. But after everything…. After James and Lily.. I just wanted to disappear. I was barely surviving.”

“But he helped? This person you’re with now?” Poppy asked, hopefully.

“He.. He’s been everything, Poppy,” Remus replied. “We’ve known each other since we were kids actually. He was at St. Edmund’s for a bit back in the day.”

“Really? Goodness, I remember how awful that place was,” Poppy remembered the awful bitch who had run the place that had barely taken care of Remus before the Potters had intervened in the ways they could.

“They shut it down finally,” Remus pointed out. “A few decades too late in my opinion. We celebrated when we heard the news.”

Poppy felt a wave of happiness overtake her as she listened to Remus talk about his childhood and the partner that she didn’t know had been with Remus all this time.

Unable to help herself, she reached out again and squeezed Remus’s shoulder.

“It makes me so happy to hear that you haven’t been alone all this time, Remus. I’ve worried about you, a lot over the years.”

“I know. You’re always the only one who truly did,” Remus said, with a touch of sarcasm, but the note of truth broke Poppy’s heart a bit. “Anyways, I just wanted to tell you that. I felt like, you deserved to know more about me. You’ve done so much for me, honestly.”

“I’m always here if you need me, Remus. Never doubt that.”

They shifted back to casual talk after that. How the Quidditch matches were going, a funny story about Seamus and a mishap that Remus insisted was the work of genius on the exuberant child’s part rather than vandalism, Remus’s lesson plans for the rest of the term.

It wasn’t until later that night, when she was tidying up for bed, that Poppy realized she had never gathered the name of the man Remus had been with for the last few years.

———————————————

Poppy found herself thinking about Remus’s announcement of his relationship a lot in the next few weeks, there was no opportunity to talk to him about it. He was distracted, as they all were.

Sirius Black was on everybody’s mind. She liked to think, with the new revelation of Remus’s seemingly long-term Muggle boyfriend, that this news of Sirius closing in on Hogwarts, wouldn’t send Remus into too much of a despair. But, she couldn’t help remembering the way that Sirius and Remus had orbited around each other as children and as teenagers. She would have never dared say anything to Remus or another teacher about it back then, but she had eyes. And like she had told Remus, she liked to think her observations were much more closely attuned to the students of Hogwarts than the rest of her colleagues.

She might never be able to meet Remus’s Muggle boyfriend and see how Remus looked at him, but as a teenager? Remus had looked at Sirius like he was the only star in the sky. As cheesy as it sounds, it’s true.

Remus was obviously angered by the constant fear in Harry’s eyes. They seemed to be spending more time together, which Poppy was glad to see.

There was nothing for Poppy to do but treat the students who came through her Hospital Wing, patch up wounds, and assuage the fears of especially the younger students who were being told escalating stories about the horrors that Sirius Black had unleashed upon the Potters and the Wizarding World that night in 1981. Poppy kept her mouth shut and her focus attuned to Remus’s moods, as she always had.

And, for better or for worse, she found herself thinking most about herself. How many years had she been at Hogwarts? How many students had she seen come and go? She looked around at her colleagues and wondered. She wanted Remus to have a life and a future and a family and children, if he so wanted, but what about her? There was something about Remus’s revelation that was bothering her, getting under her skin.

She had known Remus was gay, of course. Or at least in love with or attracted to Sirius. But he had done more than that, he was presumably living as an out gay man in the Muggle world. She didn’t know a terrible amount about how gay people were treated in the Muggle world but she had to imagine it wasn’t all fun, the thought terrified her.

But Remus was doing it. And even after his boyfriend had.. Well, presumably done what Sirius did. He had still had the courage to move on and fall in love again and navigate a whole other life. On top of being a werewolf and losing almost everybody he had ever loved.

And what was she doing? Hiding in the Hospital Wing?

She was proud of her work, but in her own life.. Poppy had to admit she wasn’t being as honest as Remus was. And that was something she wanted to be. If Remus could do it, then why couldn’t she?

———————————————

The world was imploding, Pomfrey went through the motions, checking that Harry, Hermione, and Ron were settled for a moment before turning to her office to catch her breath.

Just for a second, tuning out the other adults who were coming in and out of the room. Those blasted men, always in the way and always making daft, inhumane decisions.

When she had heard what had happened with Sirius from Severus and Fudge, the last bit of hope in Sirius’s innocence had died. That little flame of belief she had had in the boy that Remus believed in all those years ago had puttered out. Harry, Hermione, and Ron had to be her focus now, not the troubled boy that she had been wrong about. She had tried to reassure Harry of his safety from his unrepentant godfather.

But then, Harry had leapt out of bed to defend Sirius and now Poppy was more confused than ever.

But that flame of hope…

Remus was nowhere to be found, or at least she hadn’t been able to see him, Sirius was about to be given the Kiss, and the pain on Harry’s face as he had protested his godfather’s guilt had been heartbreaking.

She agreed with him, didn’t she? She had maintained Sirius’s innocence in her mind for more than a decade after all, but who was she to make a fuss in front of the Minister himself?

So much for taking Remus’s bravery as inspiration. One of her students, who for years had languished in prison, under pretenses that still didn’t make sense to her, was imprisoned in the school, about to be given the Dementor’s Kiss. And what was she doing? Hiding in her office. She hadn’t uttered a word when Harry had defended Sirius. The conversation was running over and over again in her head, but her tongue was tied. She didn’t know what had happened. All she had to go on was her gut, and what did Cornelius Fudge and Albus Dumbledore care about her gut feelings? What could little old Madam Pomfrey add to the conversation?

They were important men with important things to do. She couldn’t stop this, just like she couldn’t stop the war, and couldn’t stop Remus being sent back to St. Edmunds year after year, and couldn’t stop students from being petrified or hurt or killed or—

She heard the door of the Hospital Wing close and strode back into the main space.

“Did I hear the headmaster leaving? Am I allowed to look after my patients now?” Poppy bit out tightly.

She walked over to Harry and Hermione and watched closely as they both slowly ate the blocks of chocolate she proffered, diligently trying to avoid thinking of what Remus must be going through right now.

Poppy fleetingly thought that Harry and Hermione were acting extremely odd, Harry could barely finish his chocolate and by her small experience with him, he did like chocolate. She supposed they had just been through an ordeal and maybe he didn’t need four blocks of chocolate, but still.. something seemed off.

And then she heard Snape let out a truly unbecoming sound from the hallway and Harry and Hermione both grinned at each other.

She did love these children.

———————————————

Poppy wished that was where it had stopped, in a way. Sirius had escaped, and even though no one was talking about his innocence, the way Harry had acted in the infirmary… Once again, she only had her gut.

No one bothered to tell her shite, they just needed good, solid Madam Pomfrey to patch them up. She would just have to go with what she knew about her students, as usual.

Remus had been missing in action a bit. But the next morning, quite early, she heard a knock on the door. The students had been released from the confines of the Hospital Wing, the castle was quiet, and she just hoped that the students would all make it onto the train all in one piece.

She looked up and it was him, of course. Remus.

“Hullo, Poppy.”

“Hello, Remus,” Poppy whispered. She hesitated for a moment and then shook that feeling of distance off for a moment and walked over to the forlorn man and embraced him.

She felt him stiffen for a moment, a little uncomfortable. But after a moment, he leaned in. Tears sprung to her eyes as Poppy remembered the last time Remus had let her hug him like this, it was only in times of true loneliness and despair. Remus had had too many moments like that.

Poppy felt his chin hit her shoulder softly and then Remus murmured the words she had been expecting, but still dreading, “I’m off.”

“No, you’re not,” Poppy said fiercely, the tears coating her throat. “You’re not leaving. You deserve to be here.”

“They know,” Remus whispered. She could tell that he was crying a bit too, which made her clutch onto him harder. She couldn’t believe this was happening, again. He was being run off and she couldn’t do a thing about it.

“It doesn’t matter, Dumbledore can do something. He has to. He owes you.”

Remus drew away, surreptitiously wiping his eyes with the heel of his hand.

“You know it doesn’t matter. I don’t matter, not enough.”

“Remus John Lupin.”

“You know I’m right,” Remus said darkly, with a little chuckle. “There’s an order to the world and I’m not worth fighting parents or all the work it would take to make people understand I’m not a threat. At some level, I even understand it.”

“It’s not fair,” Poppy said, shaking her head and twisting her fingers together anxiously. “It’s not fair.”

“It’ll be alright, I’ll be alright,” Remus said, meeting her eyes. “I was fine before, before Dumbledore dragged me back into this world.”

Remus looked around her office, smiling ruefully.

“I got some time with you, I got some time with Harry, I got to teach. At least I got this. And…,” he trailed off, looking unsure.

Poppy was tired of being quiet. Tired of not asking the questions and getting no answers for the questions that had been flitting through her mind for years.

“He’s innocent, isn’t he?”

Remus’s eyes flew to Poppy’s, his face frozen in shock.

“What did you say?”

Poppy drew closer and took his hand.

“Sirius. He’s been innocent this whole time, hasn’t he?”

Remus stood there in silence, stock still.

“Yes,” he breathed.

“I knew it,” Poppy said defiantly, tears of happiness streaming down her face. “I knew it. I knew it.”

“How did you know?” Remus asked, obviously still shell-shocked by Poppy’s pronouncement.

“I don’t know,” Poppy shrugged. “I mean, of course, I doubted it sometimes, especially.. Well, especially recently, but I like to think I know you students pretty well. And he loved James and Lily, so much. I just.. It never made sense to me.”

“It never made sense to me, either,” Remus whispered. “But I still believed it. And he, he suffered so much, because I believed that about him.”

Remus trailed off for a moment.

“Why did I believe them? Why did I believe Dumbledore?”

Poppy didn’t know what to say to that. She didn’t think there was anything she could say.

—————————————————

Poppy paced her little office, there was nothing to do as the students relished their last few moments of the school term. She had exhausted the little tasks she usually distracted herself with and now she was just stewing. There was only so many linens to sort and unending anger about everything that had happened recently.

After so many years of wondering what Remus was doing, how he was, wondering if he was okay, he had finally been back in the castle.

More than anything, he had been doing the very vocation that they had all known he was made for. Even as a teenager, the professors had smiled at his study groups, speculating on what subject he would teach. And he had proved them right.

He had been a phenomenal teacher, easily one of the best the students at Hogwarts, especially this batch of students had experienced. And now he was being run out of his job by the circumstances of his life.

She couldn’t be mad at him for resigning. It made all the sense in the world, but that’s what was most frustrating.

He had left her office about an hour ago, subtly hinting that Sirius would be alright and that he was off to speak to Harry. She shuddered to think of how hard that conversation was going to be for the both of them. Whether Remus realized it or not, Harry adored him. The students adored him.

He had been the teacher they deserved, someone Harry deserved to have close by. She thought again of how brave Remus was, both in the Wizarding World and the way that he chose to live his life, his way of navigating the world. His partner in the years in between. All of the full moons that he had navigated himself, in the years in between. Him calmly but assuredly coming out to Poppy in her little office over a cup of tea, even when he thought she believed Sirius was guilty.

Remus Lupin was brave, and she wanted to be too.

Suddenly, Poppy couldn’t take it anymore. Setting down the bandages she was holding, she strode out of her office and out of the Hospital Wing, slamming the door behind her.

Moving down the corridor faster than she ever moved in the castle, even when she was occupied with a task regarding a student’s health, she marched towards Dumbledore’s office.

Approaching the gargoyle that guarded the entrance to Albus’s office, she felt her anger reach a crest, almost seeing red.

“Lemon drop. Sherbet lemon. Chocolate frog. Or whatever sweet that daft man has decided is appropriate for a password this year,” she nearly yelled, catching the attention of a first-year at the end of the corridor.

“Go to your dormitory!”

The first year scurried away, alarmed at being reprimanded by the clearly deranged Madam Pomfrey.

Poppy wasn’t sure which password had convinced the gargoyle she was allowed in, but she didn’t question it as the entrance opened for her. She climbed the winding staircase and burst into the headmaster’s office.

Albus was sitting at the desk, with a bit of a startled look on his smug face.

“Poppy? Whatever can I do for you? Was there another mishap with a student?” he asked.

“What in the bloody hell are you on?” Poppy shrieked.

“Pardon me?” Albus asked, a truly shocked look taking over his face for the first time in Poppy’s recollection.

“No, you be quiet,” Poppy said fiercely. “How dare you. HOW DARE YOU?”

Albus sat still, seemingly waiting for Poppy to continue, which only served to enrage her further.

“Why did you bring him here?” Poppy demanded. “I want to know your reasoning.”

“Who? Why did I bring who here?” Albus asked in a frustratingly calm voice.

“Remus,” she answered snarkily. “Why did you bring Remus back here?”

“I see,” Albus replied slowly. “I brought him back here because I knew he would be a good professor. And he was.”

“No, that’s not it and you know it,” Poppy retorted. “Because if you brought him here to teach, then why won’t you protect him? Why are you letting him walk right out the door? Why are you making the same mistake we all made back then?”

“Poppy… I know you’re close with him—”

“Hush your mouth, Albus Dumbledore,” Poppy said, her eyes flashing with all the emotions of the last decade. “You don’t get to make this out to be about my emotions. You brought Remus here to be a student all those years ago, you had me tend to him, you had me look out for him. And then you used him. You used his friends.”

Albus didn’t reply to this, but his eyes darted away for just half a second and Poppy knew, deep in her heart, that she would never really trust Dumbledore in the same way again. She wouldn’t be tricked, not when her students and their lives were on the line.

She walked confidently up to his desk from the center of the office where she stood. Fawkes fluttered his wings and she suddenly felt the eyes of all the portraits in that office. All those important people, important men, probably guffawing at Madam Pomfrey stepping out of line. Whispering about how they wouldn’t have allowed this behavior from an inferior.

When she got to the edge of the desk, she slapped her hand down on a big red, cloth-bound book sitting on the surface.

“You did not do right by Remus,” Poppy declared, making righteous eye contact with the man in front of her. “No matter what you tell yourself at night. You didn’t do right by him and you didn’t do right by Sirius either. Or James. Or Lily. Or Peter. Or Marlene. Or Danny. Or Mary. Or Frank. Or Alice.”

Poppy couldn’t believe these words were leaving her mouth, but she was on a roll and didn’t know how she would even stop at this point.

“Remus Lupin deserves better than what you gave him, and what I gave him, and what this school gave him,” Poppy whispered. “An entire generation of the brightest that ever walked these halls and what do they have now? Some of them are dead, some of them traumatized. And now?”

“I swear to God, Albus. The least you can do is make this up to Remus and Sirius and give the children of all of these people a better chance. Do you hear me?”

Albus raised his eyes and met Poppy’s. She didn’t know if any of her words had landed, but she was glad they had finally found their mark after all these years.

“I understand you quite clearly, Poppy.”

They stood in silence for a moment and then Poppy turned on her heel and left the office. Letting the big heavy door slam on the way out.

————————

Flying out of the stairwell, Poppy Pomfrey watched in numb shock as the gargoyle moved to cover the entrance to Dumbledore’s office. She felt her back hit the corridor wall as she fought to catch her breath.

Well, at least she had finally done something brave. Whether she had planned it or not, whether it was practical or not, she had finally made her feelings about Remus and the students they had lost abundantly clear to Albus, for better or worse. She supposed getting fired for being insubordinate in the same week that Remus Lupin had to resign would be harshly appropriate after all. Maybe it was even time.

“Madam Pomfrey?”

Poppy was startled out of her reverie with the arrival of Madam Hooch in the corridor, brow furrowed, her eyes clearly noting Poppy’s dishevelment.

“Are you… Are you alright?” Poppy understood her hesitancy. Hooch and her didn’t have the best relationship. They had gone to school together ages and ages ago and were known to tussle over the state of students after a visit to the Quidditch Pitch.

“I honestly don’t know,” Poppy had absolutely no idea where this candor was coming from. She was used to being blunt about her work, but never about her feelings, about anything important.

Hooch seemed just as surprised by her honest answer, looking around as if the world might have stopped spinning in the last few moments.

They sat in silence for a moment and Poppy thought of Remus for a moment, and the Muggle partner he was going home to, the way he was going to be facing an uphill battle when it came to Sirius, and the way he had still managed to snatch small bits of peace and happiness when he could.

Her eyes locked onto Hooch’s for a moment. And thought of the reason why Remus’s coming out to her had been getting under her skin so much this year. And why she had suddenly been thinking of her lack of a life partner or personal life since Remus had told her about his boyfriend.

“Rolanda?”

Hooch jumped at the sound of her given name, which didn’t surprise Poppy. She tended to shriek Hooch’s surname when addressing her, usually when a bleeding student was being levitated into a bed.

Poppy remembered how proud she felt when Remus came out to her and the adrenaline that was currently still rushing through her veins.

“Rolanda,” Poppy repeated. “Would you want to… I mean only if you’d like to, of course, but sometime… Would you fancy going to Hogsmeade with me, maybe?”

Hooch looked like she had just seen the Grim, which wasn’t exactly a confidence boost, but Poppy could understand why such a query from the woman who frequently threatened to get you sacked might inspire that kind of reaction.

“Hogsmeade.. You want to go to Hogsmeade with me?” Hooch replied hesitantly.

“Only if you want to,” Poppy rushed to say, rubbing her hands together anxiously. “I understand if you don’t, bit of an odd thought I know, I haven’t had the best day. I must be losing it—”

“I’d love to.”

“What?” Poppy said, breath catching for a moment.

Hooch rubbed the back of her neck sheepishly, “I’d love to go to Hogsmeade with you. Honestly.”

Poppy hoped the look on her face wasn’t completely crazed, she was feeling nothing short of complete shock that Hooch wasn’t laughing in her face right now.

“Wonderful,” Poppy struggled to say. “I’m… glad.”

Hooch smiled questioningly, “When would you want to go?”

Poppy was sure that if she left this conversation now and went back to the Hospital Wing she was never, ever going to be able to look Hooch in the face again.

“How about now?”

“Right now?” Hooch asked, looking around. “I thought you meant maybe after the students had gone home at the end of the term or—”

“We’re not getting any younger, are we?” Poppy quipped, hoping that the nerve that had gotten her through the day wouldn’t fail her now. “The students won’t miss us or pay any attention to the two of us getting a butterbeer.”

Hooch was silent for a minute, searching Poppy’s face quizzically. She stepped a little closer to the nervous woman.

“Something’s different about you today.”

Poppy grinned, probably a bit maniacally.

“Well, I did just yell at Albus Dumbledore,” Poppy admitted. “So I do feel a bit different, I think that’s a good thing though.”

“You yelled at the headmaster? Whatever about?”

“Just needed to get a couple of decades worth of grievances off my chest,” Poppy said, walking towards the Hospital Wing, hoping that Hooch would follow. “But I don’t want to bore you with all that.”

“Bore me? Something tells me anything you felt the need to yell at Albus Dumbledore about is anything but boring.”

Poppy walked silently, but quickly, down the corridor, considering whether it would be too much to tell Hooch what had happened with Remus or how she had been feeling lately.

“Poppy,” Hooch said softly, reaching out to graze the back of Pomfrey’s hand gently. “I genuinely want to know what’s going on with you.”

“How about this?” Poppy said, locking eyes with Hooch. “I go change out of this uniform, we go to the Three Broomsticks or wherever in Hogsmeade isn’t teeming with students, and I tell you all about it.”

“It’s a date.”

_How the heartaches come and they go and the scars they're leaving_

_You'll be dancing once again and the pain will end_

_You will have no time for grieving_

**Author's Note:**

> thank you so much for reading! it's actually been quite a bit since I wrote fanfiction but this little story wouldn't get out of my head. I am trying to get more comfortable writing dialogue and I wasn't sure about the ending so any constructive comments are welcome!
> 
> I am planning on writing a second part to this and it will include everyone's favorite blue-haired animagus.. stay tuned.


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